boy riding a bike smiling

The missing piece

Self is an incredibly complicated concept and can be interpreted in many different ways. For me, it’s the parts that make up me.

And I only recently realised what these are.

Our bodies are crucial and a no brainer for something that’s important to care for when we talk about self care. Eating nourishing real foods that fuel us, exercise and sleep are well documented and true facts in caring for ourselves.

Our minds are also superstars that have hundred of thousands of books and articles dedicated to how to care for them properly. Living in the present, positive thinking and meditation are a handful of ways to do this.

Soul, spirit or whatever you prefer to call it, it’s there and is fuelled by things that connect us to a higher way of being.

Accessing this part of ourselves isn’t just religion or spirituality. It can also be connecting with our creativity through artistic ventures, community through good deeds and volunteering, or the soul to soul connection we get from deep, meaningful conversations. There are also a myriad of ways to connect with and care for our souls.

Focusing on creating a balanced life earlier this year I was diligently focusing on each of these areas, with a lot of time spent reflecting, listening and learning.

I cared for my body, mind and soul daily, but something was missing. My passion and fire was burning out.

At first I thought I wasn’t doing enough, but then I saw that there was definitely something missing and began to reflect.

This is when the fourth house of self came into my attention. Heart.

Heart is passion, love, joy, laughter, happiness and total and utter bliss. When you are radiating that beautiful glow of someone who is completely content with where they are at and in love with their life.

This could be a part of soul, as each of these things are definitely also good for our souls but it really helped me to segment it out as an areas to specifically focus on.

Somehow in my focus I’d forgotten to live. To enjoy life. I’ve posted about this before and yep I slipped into it again without realising.

Topping up our hearts is so important. It’s our experience of life and should be filled with joy and laughter, passion and fun.

It doesn’t only mean a relationship, though that can also fuel our hearts. It’s making sure that love for life and passion and joy flows out of us. After all, how pleasant is it to be around people who are genuinely happy?

I don’t mean selfish or overcompensating, but a genuine, deep happiness.

That’s what I was missing.

So I remind you, if you’re reflecting on how to get yourself on track or are on your journey, remember your heart. Give yourself permission to be joyful, silly, playful and fun in whatever form that looks like for you.

Without it, we’re not whole or living our life to its fullest potential.

Give yourself permission and let’s have some fun.

Much love,


A kinder challenge

As I posted about recently it’s been a pretty rocky road these last few months learning a lot very quickly.

Without my usual safety nets like a routine, regular income and so many other things it’s put my nerves on edge. I haven’t always handled it the best way.

With three months until a major life event I’ve decided to clean up my act and do a 12 week challenge. It’s a different kind though and has one rule – be kind to myself.

I’ve written in the past about my controlling and destructive ways. For too many years I was brutal on myself, controlling every aspect of my life so that I did what I thought was best no matter if my body was screaming for me to do something else.

This last year I’ve learned the absolute bliss of listening to my body to hear what it needs.

In my 12 week challenge I’ve got plenty of things that I would like to add in, but how and when they get done will depend on what I feel is best at that time.

If I’m tired I might give myself a facial, have a foot soak and/or read as part of a relaxing night in (a crucial aspect that’s been missing lately). If I’m really energetic I might bust out my strength training, or if my nerves are on edge I might go to a yoga class instead.

I’ll make time again for my true love of dance, and put aside money to make it happen so there’s no excuses.

This also means I’ll be more committed to my stretching each morning as it requires an amazing amount of flexibility.

I’ll put reminders in my phone to get a haircut occasionally so I feel fantastic when I look in the mirror, and I’ll also set a reminder to do a few quick exercises each morning so I can improve a lingering injury.

There will be time in my day to meditate and do a visualisation activity to create my life as even more amazing. I’ll also commit to moving every day for at least 30 minutes instead of working through with no break, which leaves me stressed, on edge and over-tired.

Basically I’m going to be selfish for a little while and I am completely okay with that.

I’ll still make time for my friends and usual commitments, but I’m going to be incredibly conscious of what my body needs in these 12 weeks and act on that. No control, no schedules, no dictatorship like rigour, just a peaceful exchange of kindness and respect.

This is very new territory for me so it’s even about being kind to myself when I forget or start to get a bit obsessive.

After 12 weeks I feel like I’ll be mentally and physically at the top of my game ready for the next very exciting chapter of my life.

I’ll feel amazing and that’ll flow into every aspect of my life. This includes being more present to the needs of those around me as I’m not caught up in my own mind.

For me this is about learning a new way of being, a more reflective and gentle way, but also building myself up so I can be who I choose to be for others.

We all know that when we feel amazing that it flows out of us.

We smile at others, joke around and are kind without a second thought because we are in that state of mind.

By being a little bit gentler on ourselves we are actually paving the way to be more selfless, which to me seems like a worthy thing to commit my time to.

Much love,