boy riding a bike smiling

The missing piece

Self is an incredibly complicated concept and can be interpreted in many different ways. For me, it’s the parts that make up me.

And I only recently realised what these are.

Our bodies are crucial and a no brainer for something that’s important to care for when we talk about self care. Eating nourishing real foods that fuel us, exercise and sleep are well documented and true facts in caring for ourselves.

Our minds are also superstars that have hundred of thousands of books and articles dedicated to how to care for them properly. Living in the present, positive thinking and meditation are a handful of ways to do this.

Soul, spirit or whatever you prefer to call it, it’s there and is fuelled by things that connect us to a higher way of being.

Accessing this part of ourselves isn’t just religion or spirituality. It can also be connecting with our creativity through artistic ventures, community through good deeds and volunteering, or the soul to soul connection we get from deep, meaningful conversations. There are also a myriad of ways to connect with and care for our souls.

Focusing on creating a balanced life earlier this year I was diligently focusing on each of these areas, with a lot of time spent reflecting, listening and learning.

I cared for my body, mind and soul daily, but something was missing. My passion and fire was burning out.

At first I thought I wasn’t doing enough, but then I saw that there was definitely something missing and began to reflect.

This is when the fourth house of self came into my attention. Heart.

Heart is passion, love, joy, laughter, happiness and total and utter bliss. When you are radiating that beautiful glow of someone who is completely content with where they are at and in love with their life.

This could be a part of soul, as each of these things are definitely also good for our souls but it really helped me to segment it out as an areas to specifically focus on.

Somehow in my focus I’d forgotten to live. To enjoy life. I’ve posted about this before and yep I slipped into it again without realising.

Topping up our hearts is so important. It’s our experience of life and should be filled with joy and laughter, passion and fun.

It doesn’t only mean a relationship, though that can also fuel our hearts. It’s making sure that love for life and passion and joy flows out of us. After all, how pleasant is it to be around people who are genuinely happy?

I don’t mean selfish or overcompensating, but a genuine, deep happiness.

That’s what I was missing.

So I remind you, if you’re reflecting on how to get yourself on track or are on your journey, remember your heart. Give yourself permission to be joyful, silly, playful and fun in whatever form that looks like for you.

Without it, we’re not whole or living our life to its fullest potential.

Give yourself permission and let’s have some fun.

Much love,


Laughing, remember that sound?

Even in a dance with an unrelentingly fast beat, if you are truly present, there are always tiny breaks that can be stolen. These breaks are opportunities to slow down and enjoy the moment, even if only for a second.

This is just as true with life – even in the busiest of times, there are always tiny pockets of joy there for the taking.

As a busy professional with an even busier schedule, dancing is my break in the music of life and expression. It is my moment to turn off my busy mind, connect with my body and be engulfed by the music.

I dance a very fluid and romantic style called zouk. It is my true love in the dance world, allowing me to be playful, flirtatious, strong or seductive. I can be all of those within the one song if I choose, and never once do I hesitate to channel whatever emotion I feel like expressing in that moment. The feeling of dancing zouk for me is total peace, and with so many friends who share my interest there’s always a lot of laughs.

After my recent chronic fatigue crash I wasn’t able to dance for many months when life forced me to slow down, reflect and heal. Though I have worked hard to heal and get every area of my life on track again, one that I am noticing seems to get missed regularly is fun.

Seriously, when was the last time you had some fun? I mean the kind of fun that leaves you with cramps from laughing so hard and an aura of total bliss.

For me this was dance, and often dates, but with a relationship with a questionable status and dance being an irregular occurrence at the moment my life seems like a constant flow of things I have to do.

I have to work long hours because I am focusing on progressing in my career, I have to prepare my meals for the week on a Sunday, I have to see that friend because they have asked repeatedly and I have been too busy or I have to clean.

When our mindset is constantly that we have to do something even though we don’t want to, or that we should do something, these words take away our power as we aren’t making a choice. Instead we are being driven in many cases by societal or personal expectations.

As I look back at my weekend that was filled with things I had to do, I feel a sadness as I realise the lost opportunity to have some fun and experience this amazing world. There surely were moments I could have claimed for some fun if I’d been present.

As I scan the last few months I realise that fun has been severely neglected, and my life has become an onslaught of doing the right thing. Well no longer. In the short term I plan to do one big thing per week that makes me laugh my pants off. If I have to pre-schedule time for this or set reminders in my phone so be it, as I know that repetition eventually leads to unconscious habit. And I’m ready for fun to be a habit again!

My time of rest, reflection and healing is over – now it’s time to play.

As you look back at your recent time, have you had fun as often as you need? If not, I encourage you to take steps to change this. Make your happiness a priority. We only get one life so don’t waste it being a slave to should. Be free, dance, love, play, create, whatever you want, just make sure you laugh!

After all, laughter is the best medicine for so many things.

Much love and laughter,