girl covering her eyes

Pitfalls of personal development #2

Eating disorders, depression, failure, relationship breakups, fights, turning into a parent…the this goes on for what we tell ourselves can’t or won’t happen to us because xyz. But sometimes, it can and sometimes it’s because we’ve ignored the warning signs for far too long.

Another pitfall of personal development is the refusal to see reality as it is. We tell ourselves to look at the bright side, and we should. We don’t indulge negative thoughts and try, try, try to make our lives better every day in every way.

This is all very good, but sometimes we can unconsciously use these small tactics as bandaid solutions to a much larger beast that is rearing its head for us to address.

If ever you find yourself in a situation where it’s just not working despite all of your conscious thinking or positive actions, perhaps its time to look on a bigger scale at what needs to change.

Sometimes life knows better than us and is doing its best to show us that something is out of line and ready to go.

I saw a video doing the rounds about some type of sea creature outgrowing its shell.

When the shell becomes too small, the animal become uncomfortable until the point that it can’t take it anymore, leaves its shell and takes cover for a period of time while it grows a new shell.

Then it returns to life, but eventually it becomes uncomfortable again and has to choose to leave its shell, find a safe space and grow another one.

This part of the story I’ve heard before, but what came next is what put some new perspective on it for me.

He added that if this animal was a human that it would have been prescribed antidepressants, mood stabilisers, pain medication and anti-inflammatories to name a few if it had visited the doctor. These would have allowed it to never leave its shell, which would have created a much larger issue.

Now I’d like to say that for some people, in some cases medication is very necessary. I’m not denying that or suggesting to avoid seeking medical help if necessary. But medication is not the whole answer.

Pain is a way of showing us that it’s time reflect, make some changes and grow. It’s telling us that something isn’t right and if we listen, we can be so much more than our current selves allow.

If we hide from this pain whether it’s in our lives or selves, we’re robbing ourselves of opportunities to grow. And sometimes if it’s REALLY time to grow, we can get into tricky situations by skirting around the edges.

That is where denial comes in.

What if the sea creature had done little things to make its shell more comfortable? It could have lost weight to make it fit, or distract itself from the pain.

Eventually it would have had to face the truth and well it might be a lot harder for it to leave its shell then rather than when it first felt nature’s pull to grow.

Denial is a nasty beast that can get us into some pretty tricky situations.

It might be big, it might be small, but if you’re brave spend half an hour focusing in and have a look around your life to see if there’s something you’re denying. Let your subconscious work its magic, and something may pop into your mind.

Then watch your world change.

Much love,

C