Part 1: Do you have a cold or a severe case of empathy?

Are you constantly struck down with a severe case of the ailment of the week as soon as someone sniffs in your direction?

Of course if someone sneezes and then shakes your hand, or your co-worker coughs over you mid-way through a conversation then you’ve likely caught a cold through the spread of germs. But if you are one of those people who hear about someone with a symptom and without any interaction with them are struck down by the same symptom days or even hours later this post is for you.

I’m not one for sugar coating so I’ll just blurt it out. Just like some breakups, it’s not always them, it might be you.

Now don’t come at me with pitchforks saying that your *insert symptom here* IS NOT YOUR FAULT and is due to germs, followed by a very long and detailed explanation how. Hear me out. Do we have a deal? Okay here I go…

An interesting thing I’ve been reading up on lately is the world of and traits of an empath. I’d heard the term said in passing many times before when chatting with my other conscious thinking friends and never thought much of it. But an experience with a particular energy sucking acquaintance has brought the term front and centre in my life.

There are various levels like anything, but it basically means you are sensitive. Sensitive to lots of things. It might be food, it might be noise, it might be chemicals in food, and you are almost definitely sensitive to the moods of those around you.

Are you one to walk into a room and know if there’s just been an argument among your friends even if they are laughing now? Do you walk away from certain friends totally drained while others leave you energised? Can you just tell someone isn’t trustworthy or you shouldn’t go ahead with a particular business deal? Well you my friend might be to some degree an empath.

‘But what does this have to do with my getting sick all the time?’

Well hold on, I was getting there. An empath, or a sensitive person, is someone who is hyper sensitive to the feelings of those around them and for some people even the larger stuff that is going on in the world.

An empath’s body act like a metal detector but for emotions and energies, picking up what they feel around us and showing us. Our bodies don’t have screens unfortunately, they just have themselves so the only way they can communicate with us what they sense is to mirror it.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Because this is not something commonly understood, spoken about or even heard of by most, many sensitive people go through life knowing that certain things affect them but never understand how, why, or how to overcome…master if you will, this personality trait.

This is a meaty one so read more about mastering empathy in part 2.

Much love,

C

A woman’s worth

Growing up I was a tomboy to say the least. I wanted to be as strong as a man, powerful in business like a man, not run by my emotions, and definitely not have to deal with any of the anatomical realities of being a woman.

These are the desires of a young girl yet to realise a woman’s worth and the amazing power that comes from the feminine spirit.

As I grew up I slowly began to get in touch with my feminine side, the first step of which was moving out of home into a share house with all girls. The house was creatively and thoughtfully decorated and my housemates were full of emotion and were completely spoiled by their partners. I was perplexed, but as I stayed longer I saw definite positives that came from embracing some of these more female traits.

The next step in my learning was working in an office of all women. In this office they utilised their female strengths to create a uniquely harmonious, nurturing and efficient office where each staff member thrived. This flowed through to the superior work that they produced and long standing employees. Here I learned how to embrace my strengths and lead with compassion and love, not dominance, fear, pain or submission as had been the case in many other workplaces. I learned the power of the more gentle side of human nature, particularly in business.

Years later I’ve grown to truly understand and appreciate not just the appeal of what femininity can offer to my life, but the amazing power and opportunity that it offers the world.

As a female, or man who is balanced in his masculinity and femininity, there is the opportunity to soften the harsh energies of this world and bring it to a greater place of love, serenity and maybe eventually peace and happiness.

The energies of big business, politics and society as a whole are heavily male, with some of the female attributes still at times being painted as inferior, unnecessary and sometimes even wrong. But the reality is that without BOTH females and males, the world would cease to exist.

Each gender and its energies play an important role, and are as important as one another in creating a harmonious world. In order to reach their full potential, each gender needs one another to balance and support. No one gender can do it alone.

It is only now that there is a groundswell beginning where females are starting to understand their gentle yet crucial power in a positive way, as opposed to the forcible way of past decades. I hope that with this greater understanding will also come the knowledge of balance.

I look forward to the day where modern society once again recognises the power of a woman, the balanced power of a man, and that they both work in total harmony to protect and support one another as I’m sure we were created to do.

Much love,

C

When independence becomes a handicap

I grew up incredibly self-sufficient and independent. A very handy life skill indeed. From a young age I was able to look after myself and everyone else around me. But as time went on this independence became linked in my mind to my survival, turning it into a need and becoming a handicap in many ways.

This is one of the things from my past I have worked hard to gain insight into and eventually master. But when I’m not looking…or conscious for those of you who read this blog regularly, it takes over and runs amok leaving burning buildings and up-turned cars in its wake.

You can connect the dots here. Not needing anyone, or others feeling like you don’t want or need them, can cause many issues in many different types of relationships. The problem is that the real me, the conscious me, wants to connect with people. This me wants to spread love to everyone I come in contact with and receive just as much love in return.

Unconscious me or auto-pilot me, the one acting from my past and in the only way it knows how, is fiercely independent and won’t let anyone add to my life in any way. Or for that matter get close enough to even try. This creates an ongoing tug of war.

For many years I was totally driven by my past, not having learned to release it and consciously choose how I wanted to be or create my life. This left me constantly trying to connect with others but as soon as they started getting close I’d either run far far away or push them so they did the dirty work. This extended to jobs and every area of my life. I was a commitment-phobe and I was powerless to change. I saw relationship after relationship fade away as auto-pilot me took over.

Now the thing we must understand is that our automatic reactions and habits, even the ones we see as debilitating or frustrating, are our unconscious mind trying to protect us. You see our unconscious mind is still stuck very much in the past and colouring each of our experiences with this. And because it is stuck in the past it remembers all of the pain we endured during these earlier experiences and wants to avoid us experiencing this pain again.

Further than that, our unconscious is a primal part of our bodies that still thinks we are being chased by dinosaurs and acts like every stress is a physical threat to our lives. It has not evolved to know that emotional stresses are not a physical threat, so when our unconscious registers a stress of any kind it kicks our fight or flight reaction into play TO SAVE OUR LIVES.

This means that when we are not consciously living, we are run by a system that although well meaning, treats every situation like it is life or death. Even when consciously we want something with all our being, if our unconscious smells a threat we have very little power to stop this fight or flight reaction unless we are consciously living.

This is an incredibly strong drive to fight against. It is like trying to overpower a parent whose child has been seriously harmed…good luck! So be kind.

You will automatically react in this way but each time you’ll get faster and faster at picking yourself up on it. Sure there’ll be times where you don’t realise you have fallen back into the pattern but life has a way of snapping you back into consciousness when you spend much of your time like that.

For me, this is one I am still learning to master in some areas of my life, while others I am totally conscious within. And I’m thankful for those reality shocks when they occur. As nasty as they can be, they allow me to be conscious again, clean up my messes and recreate the situation how I choose. This is true power and how I choose to live my life.

Much love,

C.

Listening for the answers

I am only recently getting back in touch with my intuition. That little voice in my head that just knows. I believe when I was younger, like many kids, I was totally in touch with my intuition and was usually steered in the right direction. But as other influences came into my life I began to question myself.

There were so many times that I knew something but hushed this little voice to follow my peers and attempt to fit in. I didn’t really, I was a bit of an odd child like so many kids who are sensitive, but none the less I tried.

My life became a constant battle of being influenced by others. I was soft hearted and all too willing to trust that everyone else knew what was best for me, despite me knowing otherwise deep down. Shoosh I told that little voice. So one day that little voice stopped speaking to me.

Years went on and eventually I got sick of constantly being at the whim of others. I had had enough of having my mind constantly being changed, and changing my beliefs on a whim to satisfy every person around me. Enough was enough. So instead I chose to become incredibly stubborn and not listen to or be influenced by anyone.

The issue with this new found mindset was that my intuition was still hushed. So at this time I was really acting either from a state of fight or flight responding to my past experiences, or trying desperately not to be like everyone else. It depended on the situation.

Though no longer dominated by others, I knew I was still not being true to myself or acting in my best interest. When I was expending so much energy trying not to be like others, and not be influenced in any way by them I was still trapped and at the mercy of others. There was still no freedom.

As I began to learn to release the past and create my future from a blank slate, only then did I begin to gain some power over my own life.

And one day I heard that little voice again. At first I was unsure, but I soon saw that each time I chose not to listen to it I’d always end up off track. I quickly learned to trust it and respect it.

The problem was and still is, that trust and respect for something seemingly intangible can still be swayed by people around us, societal norms and even our own rationalisation.

Just moments ago I was tempted to be influenced by someone who I care about deeply, fall into fear and run to another to confirm what I already knew…just in case. They had my best interest at heart but their views were being influenced by panic as well as their own past and I could see this.

The first thing I did was to ensure I was not acting from my own past and being stubborn. To achieve this I first chose to be thankful, thankful for their care and them being in my life. Next, instead of sticking my head in the sand and ignoring the issue, or digging my heels into the sand and stubbornly ignoring them I looked at things from their point of view and also from a few other angles. By doing this I could see their side with a greater understanding and have compassion.

I then considered their opinion diplomatically, and made a choice that was best for me and in line with my beliefs. I chose to trust my intuition, that little voice that told me everything was exactly as it should be. And as it turned out, it was.

In my quest to overcome the limitations of my past and create the amazing life I desire I have gotten into the habit of running to others for help.

I feel like my journey right now is learning to trust that I’ve got the knowledge required within me in many situations. It is about getting back in touch with my own knowing. And yes sometimes that does mean knowing I need to consult another.

It about learning to respect my intuition, and trust it, and as this relationship grows again I’m excited to see where it leads me.

Much love,

C.

Synchronicity

This is a word I came across many years ago and it was met with a raised eyebrow and ‘eh?’, so I’ll understand if you are having a similar reaction to this blog post title. By definition:

Synchronicity is the occurrence of two or more events that appear to be meaningfully related but not causally related. Synchronicity holds that such events are “meaningful coincidences”.

This term was coined by renowned psychologist Carl Jung, whose lifetime interest and observation of the paranormal led to his development of the theory of synchronicity. It was his attempt to quantify or explain the paranormal occurrences and links that seemed apparent to some yet others remained oblivious to.

The word has popped into my mind to write about today after Microsoft Word’s refusal to start as ideas were buzzing around my head for another blog post. I waited and waited, and as I started to get antsy I wondered if perhaps this seemingly meaningless event was in fact a gentle tap on the shoulder to guide me in the right direction. And so I began pondering synchronicity…and so opened Microsoft Word. Call it coincidence that this technical glitch caused me to change my action, call it good timing, call it my laptop needing an update or whatever you like. I prefer to call it synchronicity at play.

Carl Jung’s theory has come under scrutiny by many who try and quantify every aspect of the world using more tangible methods. Let’s be honest though, there are so many things we know exist but we cannot see. Air, laughter, emotions and love are all examples that one cannot physically see but modern science has found ways to quantify and therefore justify.

But just because there is no quantification method YET for so many metaphysical phenomenon, who are we to deny they exist? Did people question love existing before tests showed the physical body’s reaction to it?

I’m not devaluing science in any way, one of my best friends is a scientist who is making a remarkable impact on the world through her studies. I just sometimes wonder if we forget that scientists and researchers are just humans testing hypotheses with machines made to do only certain things. Their work is valued because we value science as a profession. If society changed its mindset and began to value those who can sense the unseen what impact would this have on the world as we see it? But I digress.

In our everyday life things happen around us, to us, even in us without our conscious knowledge of how they happen. But they happen. And they keep happening.

In the words of an entertainer, the show must go on…and it does, with or without us. But have you ever thought what you might see if you started really looking at what goes on around you. I mean really seeing and observing, just like a scientist, those seemingly meaningless, insignificant and unrelated events. As someone who makes a conscious effort to live in the present (okay okay when I remember, I’m working on it) and notice things it is a very different world you’ll see.

For me this brings a great level of peace, knowing that I am being guided and road signs are everywhere should I just pay attention. I hope it does for you too.

What are your thoughts about synchronicity? I’d love to know!

Much love,

C.