Charisma

At a dance workshop I met two of the most amazing people. They radiated the highest level of self worth that I’d seen in a long time, yet were the most likeable, genuine and caring people in the room.

The perfect balance they seemed to have struck left me completely in awe.

When I got to dance with the female instructor, she greeted me with the biggest smile and began stroking my hair admiring it for how soft it was. She must have felt it when she hugged me. I was taken aback at how friendly she was.

She was instantly comfortable with every person in the room and her adorable personality won each of us over instantly.

I still referred to them as a Brazilian god and goddess when I talk about them, and I don’t think I was too far off in terms of what they radiated.

They were charismatic beyond belief, but I couldn’t figure out why until I spent a bit more time with them later that night at a social party.

I think it’s a part of their contract for each international artist to come along to a party that night. The social dancing kind of party.

The artists are usually swamped with people wanting to dance with them and I can understand that this is intimidating or possibly draining on some nights.

I occasionally find them hiding in a side room to catch their breath as they are hounded by the next round of keen attendees wanting their moment with someone famous in our dance scene.

I rarely ask these international artists for a dance as I feel sorry for them being squealed at like a rockstar which some are visibly shy about. Others do enjoy the admiration, I’ll admit that.

These two were different.

Between them they asked every person in the room to dance at least once, making sure that no one was left out.

They were both totally focused on the person they danced with, making it at the right level so that we felt like the best dancer in the world for that one song.

So often the artist is looking around the room, visibly bored when dancing with someone.

They stayed in the room and had genuine conversations with each person, giving us their full attention even if it was only a few moments before the next person would come up and ask for a dance.

There was no queue, which there always is, and people hesitated to interrupt their conversations because we could each see that they were completely present and engulfed in whatever the other person was saying.

They gave 100% of themselves to whatever they were doing.

At the end of the night, instead of sneaking out, they came up to each and every person, gave us a giant heartfelt hug, genuine smile and a thank you for the dances/conversation.

I then realised what made them so enigmatic, and what true charisma boils down to.

True charisma isn’t about saying hello, it’s about being so amazingly excited and grateful to have the chance to do so.

It’s about giving 100% of yourself to whatever you are doing in that moment.

It’s also about being unapologetically you.

Not everyone would be that friendly, but their kindness and enthusiasm were both so genuine that it was well received by even the hardest hearts in the room. They were unapologetically them and we loved them for it.

How do we get to this stage?

Charisma is more than the external attributes I just mentioned that is visible to others. There’s a deep level of self respect involved to be able to give that much of yourself and be so genuinely you in each moment.

In order to become charismatic, and a person that people genuinely flock to, it starts with us.

We need to care for ourselves first, so that when we need to or choose to, there’s so much love, enthusiasm and kindness to give.

It’s like the bonus round in our quest for self worth. It’s the level where we learn to remain humble and present to the needs of others, while putting our needs first in total harmony.

Self respect is an ongoing journey, and even once we get there it still takes focus in a different kind of way. The payoff though is a life that you love and being who you truly are, unapologetically in every area and moment of your life.

That to me is worth all of the failings, all of the highs and all of the lows as I reach for it.

It can seem so tedious or unattainable at times, and we can lose our way so it’s important to keep our goals front of mind whatever they are.

Find what works for you and keep your eye on the prize. Then maybe you’ll create all eyes on you.

Much love,

C

Just ask

At dinner recently, my date pointed out that something he really likes about me is that if there’s something on my mind, particularly about him or us, I just ask him without sending myself into a tizzy over it.

Not many people do, he said.

I was temporarily perplexed, but then after a few moments I remembered that he was actually right. I wasn’t even originally like that but it is something I’ve been doing for so long I’d forgotten.

I realised quite some time ago that nothing good came from overanalysing situations or stewing over them for days, weeks or sometimes longer. It was a waste of energy and didn’t actually get me any further to a solution or answer.

This is because often the reason something was running around my head on high rotation was because there were pieces of the puzzle missing.

No matter how many times I would look at the situation, without those puzzle pieces I’d never be able to see the full picture.

Sure I could imagine what the puzzle pieces would look like, or the whole picture, but there were millions of possibilities, and I never could be sure which was right. So one day I gave it up and just started asking.

This brought so much freedom. It freed me up from a huge amount of mental clutter, anxiety and stress on a daily basis.

It wasn’t until this lovely compliment that I remembered what my life used to be like – a constant roundabout of not knowing, speculation and dragging other people in to get their opinion then still not knowing for sure.

How exhausting!

Depending on the situation and the stage of my life the inability to get off this round about was normally from either not thinking to go to the root cause of the issue/situation, not having the confidence to ask or fear of possible conflict.

Today however I value my mental space more than to waste time and energy wondering.

If I am worried about something, I ask. If I’m not sure if I’ve misinterpreted something, I ask. If I’ve got something on my mind, I raise it with the person.

That is another thing, I go directly to the source. Other people rarely hold the answers if it’s to do with a specific person or situation known only to few.

So I encourage you all, if something is on your mind, just ask.

To start, it might be easier to pre-think how you will ask, making sure that if it is a sensitive person or issue that the other person does not add additional negative meaning to your innocent question. In my experience however the more relaxed you are about asking and nonchalant, the less likely the person is to respond in a negative way.

Anyone who knows me is quite used to me piping up with ‘hey, random question…’ or ‘now don’t go adding subtext to this that isn’t there but I was wondering…’ or even simply ‘I’m a little confused about something you said…’. These are all non-confrontational, relaxed yet confident ways of addressing an issue or concern. Even my boss is getting used to me calling him into quick chats to clarify things.

If the person does choose to add extra meaning and get sensitive, this is often more about them than you. Stand your ground, diffused their concerns by reiterating your intentions and continue. Be careful not to reflect their sensitivity back at them and 99% of the time any issues can be diffused quickly and relatively effortlessly.

Do yourself a favour and take a mental load off. You might enjoy it!

Much love,

C.

How to say no and be okay.

I hate cancelling plans that I don’t feel up to going to. Sometimes it physically hurts me to do so.

Logically I know that I can’t push my body beyond where it can go without big ramifications, but still I struggle.

If there was any way humanly possible that I could have prevented the situation, well that little voice rubs my nose in it that I should have done that.

Life is a learning curve and we’re always going to be on an up and down cycle.

No matter where we’re at in life, how evolved we think we are, how organised, how together we have it, we’re never going to be perfect. We’re just human.

I’m human. Why is this such a hard thing to grasp?

We’re all deliciously messed up, muddling our way through life making mistakes every which way that we turn. I understand this intellectually, like most of you might too, so why do we need permission from others to do what’s best for us?

I know the steps to cancel with integrity and accountability.

Step 1: communicate as soon as you have an inkling that something may come up to either delay you, change things or there’s even the slightest possibility that you may need to cancel.

Step 2: be sincere and communicate what you can when. This gives the other person/people a chance to do what works for them as a result of the possibility of changes on your part. This is an absolute pet peeve if people miss these two steps, so I do my very best to always stick to them.

Step 3: if you have to cancel, apologise sincerely and do your best to minimise the flow on effects if there are any (such as paying back for a ticket, finding another person to replace yourself etc).

This isn’t a technique from a book, but it’s how I go through life and a pattern I know that I tend to follow.

If these three steps are followed, we’ve done our very best to minimise the inconvenience to them and that’s all that anyone can ask from us – that we do our very best.

The most important step, however is what comes after that. It’s the step for us. Forgive ourselves and let go.

This doesn’t mean being narcissistic and shutting down to the influence we have on other people if we’ve not held up our end of an agreement. It also doesn’t mean suppressing any feelings that we might be feeling.

Allowing ourselves to feel each of the feelings that have come up, depending on the situation is important. It helps us heal.

It’s important once this is done though to consciously step outside of the situation and find things to be grateful for. For me, it went something like this.

I’m so grateful to have such caring and understanding friends who understand and let me rest when I need to.

How amazing that I’ve now got some free time when this was supposed to be a busy day/night.

I might not be great at this just yet, but each time it’s going to get easier.

By changing our mentality it helps to stop us dwelling on what has just happened. That’s in the past, it’s done and now it’s time to look forward. So begin creating something new and wonderful to focus on.

After all, isn’t that what we want in life? More new and wonderful things to fill our minds, hearts and selves?

Much love,

C

Being brave

I think one of the bravest thing that anyone can do is pick themselves up after a major failure, and be graceful about it.

To be kind enough and patient enough to yourself during this period, while you heal, and get yourself and your life back together takes meal after meal of humble pie, and a type of tenacity that can really test you.

This kindness however is what seems to set those apart from those that fall down and don’t get back up and those that eventually do. 

I used to write a lot about humility at the start and maybe losing sight of this is where things started going off track.

When something big or small would happen, I’d ask myself the following three questions. Was I kind? Was I strong? Was I gracious?

You’d be surprised how quickly life can take shape when you keep these three things in mind.

You see the kinder we are to ourselves the faster we can move forward, and the stronger we become.

The stronger we become, the more brave we are and the more respect we give ourselves.

This eventually turns outwards, where we are so strong within ourselves that we can be kind and gentle to others. We begin to exude humility whether we realise it or not.

Then we may begin to receive, where it’s so important to be gracious. For whatever that may be.

These three things together can create a life that is off the charts amazing. But it takes constant focus and introspection to maintain this new way of being that’s so unlike what our culture promotes.

These things create a life that’s about giving to others quietly, being sure within yourself in a way that doesn’t need social media followers to validate, and a level of respect that lets us be so quietly content within ourselves that we’ve got plenty of awareness to help others.

That’s the kind of world I want to live in, and that’s what I’m so grateful my life recently has showed me both sides of.

Ego is complex. You can’t give when you are busy taking, but sometimes it gives you the initial kick in the pants you need before consciously choosing a more positive motivating tool.

Humility however, is the quiet achiever that I’m sure can change the world. It’s up there with trust, maybe even higher on the list of things that human nature lead us away from, but that the search for peace and a meaningful life lead us to master.

When things are good, humility is about seeing the gift of everything, every moment and being genuinely moved by the blessings you receive. It’s a quiet, deep thanks for everything that life provides you.

When you’ve gone off track, humility to accept your failures, to accept your perfect imperfection and forgive yourself well that takes guts.

Picking yourself back up while you’re beating yourself up however is even harder though. So be kind to yourself please in every facet of your life.

If things aren’t taking shape, are you doing the best you can at the time? If yes, then forgive and maybe reset your goals or look at what else you can do to grow or support yourself so you can be more.

You’ll never pick yourself up until you stop being the one who’s pushing yourself down to the ground.

Much love,

C

Honouring the best

Around this time 10 years ago a very special soul left my life, and this world forever.

I was 19, and she was my mum.

On her headstone I wrote that she’d been too pure for this world to keep and I stand by this.

Mum was the first person I knew who always had plenty of love for everyone around her, and that was pretty amazing to grow up with.

She was the kind of person who made everyone feel special. She had a way about her that had strangers sit next to her on benches and divulge their secrets. She had kind eyes, and a smile that made everything better.

I grew up wanting to be her, and her death left me wanting to make her proud. I swore I’d live the life she missed out on.

This decision cast a shadow for a long time as I tried to do this. 

Eventually as I got older and started to figure out who I was, I began to see her as my imperfectly perfect starting point to mould how I want to be. Not the blueprint.

Her kindness, compassion, strength and inner beauty are all things I aspire to keep within me, but her inability to put her own needs anywhere on the list is not. That part won’t get me anywhere that I want to go.

I wanted to be her yes, and honour her memory, but I also grew up and wanted more for my life. I want to be the change in the world she never believed she could be.

She had aspirations of her own – of helping people in need, creating success and purpose but instead she settled with finding it within her family life. She did her very best to be our world, and sometimes we weren’t the most appreciative audience.

By her choice, and for our family, she never got to create a life that she dreamed of. A life where she was more than she grew up believing she could be.

She made sure that I grew up differently, and filled my head with the knowledge that I could do anything that I set my mind to.

With her still in my mind, I know I can.

I can do this because grown from where she started.

I’ve learned that I have to be me, and that doesn’t mean I won’t love her still or honour her life.

It hurt to let go of that, but it was a kid’s way of thinking and I’ve grown up.

We can’t help anyone if we don’t care for ourselves first. This is a lesson by now you’ve heard me talk about quite a lot. It’s a work in progress but always on my radar.

When you’ve spent 20-something years putting everyone else first, learning a new way of being is like a baby giraffe taking its first steps.

First you fall, look around and realise that things are not okay. Then you look up and see where you want to go, and everyone around you doing their own thing.

From here you learn how to move your feet, then how to straighten your legs, and then move both parts together. Soon your head is raised and you are free to explore and play without any thought required.

So this is for you Mum. Your life taught me how important it is to stay soft in a world that tries so hard to make us hard. Your death taught me to be strong, and my life since has taught me how powerful it is to combine the two. 

Much love,

C

Part 2: The day that I threw out my scales

Working again with my beautiful kinesiologist, we dug deep into the issue of my eating.

It was confronting, and terrifying with a lot of layers and levels to get through. We eventually got to the root cause of my need to stop eating.

It was as though this pattern had completely disappeared. It didn’t even occur to me to skip a meal and I finally had found some peace.

What I didn’t expect was that there was more to get through.

There was the flip side which was over eating to cope with the huge amount of emotions which were now coming to the surface. I’d never learned to cope with them authentically as I’d either stopped eating to control them, or over eaten to suppress them.

I very quickly put on quite a few dress sizes, jumping from barely a 6 up to a good size 10 then even maybe a size 12.

It took a lot of mindfulness, but I refused to limit what I craved in any way to prove to myself that the pattern was truly broken.

Eventually I saw however that this cycle as it continued was also not healthy. I was eating non-stop and having panic attacks when I would stop. This too was an extreme version of what I wanted to be.

With some more help, patience and persistence I eventually realised that loving our bodies isn’t about limiting our food, nor is it about eating anything and everything. It’s about peace and respect.

If we’re hungry, we should let ourselves eat.

If we physically, not mentally, crave a food then our body probably needs something in that food.

Listen carefully and the answers are there, though sometimes not on the surface. Figure out what it is really crying out for.

Sugar cravings may be a sign of low insulin and that you need a piece of fruit, or more protein in your diet longer term to help ease these energy spikes. Maybe you even need magnesium and rest to naturally recharge so that your body is less reliant on instant food energy.

If you “feel” like eating a whole tub of ice cream well sometimes that’s okay too. Just get to the bottom of why you wanted it once you are done so it doesn’t become a habit.

There are probably some emotions you’ve got to unbury, or you are severely in need of more energy and that’s the fastest way your body knows how to get it – via sugar.

Our bodies are constantly communicating with us, and if we listen they very clearly tell us what they need to remain healthy, strong and keep us feeling great.

By listening, there’s no need to limit food or follow the strict guidelines of a meal plan.

Our food requirements change as our lifestyle changes, and our bodies know this and share it with us.

But there are still those scales that we force ourselves to get on.

I had been doing incredibly well recently and eating what I felt I needed each day. I felt strong.

I could see my body slowly slimming down and a good amount of healthy muscle building up again.

Then I jumped on my scales.

That number brought back every controlling voice I’d had during those 11 years, and made me want to curl up and hide from the world.

I’d gone from feeling healthy, strong and good about a body that was slowly returning back to a state of optimum health, to cancelling plans with a friend that night because I didn’t want to leave the house.

I decided that I was unworthy of a fun night out with him, our friendship and to be seen in public because of a number on a scale.

Nothing has the right to make me feel that way. I had given this piece of technology and plastic too much power.

I gave it that power and I could take it away. So I threw out my scales forever.

That is the moment that I finally let go of eating disorders on all levels. It’s the moment I decided I was ALWAYS worthy of love from myself and others, and that I am worthy of all of the amazing things that this life has to offer.

Learning to listen to what my body truly wants and needs is the only diet I’m interested in now.

Whether it’s a number on a scale or number on your jeans, this does not dictate who we are, or what we deserve.

We are so much more than that.

We are a soul, we are a heart, we are a mind and we deserve to be loved, happy and fulfilled ALWAYS.

There will be times when we need a bit of extra weight for one reason or another, but if we keep listening to what our bodies really need we’ll find a happy equilibrium minus the control, panic and mental abuse cycles.

We’ll find our happiest, healthiest version of ourselves every day. That’s the measure that matters.

Much love,

C

Part 1: The day that I threw out my scales

A flat piece of plastic is all that it is. 1.1kgs of it.

This 1.1kgs of electronics and plastic has ruled my life for over a decade.

It has no emotions, no sense of muscle versus fat and no perception that women hold water at a certain time of the month.

Most of all it has no idea that we are people, and so much more than the number that they assign us.

So many of us have deemed this small piece of plastic and electronics the ruler of our self worth and leader of our confidence.

No more.

Growing up I had always been happy, energetic, healthy and a little bit lanky. As hormones kicked in and my food allergies developed, all of a sudden I became much larger and my body shape changed.

Combined with bad skin and low self confidence, I hid from the world. I tried to be as unseen as humanly possible.

This isn’t easy when you’re nearly 5.7” and seem to draw attention from strangers anyway.

I enjoyed a world of books, movies, my family and occasionally friends outside of school.

As my mum got sicker and I was old enough to figure out how the story with her was going to end, my mental state deteriorated quite quickly. I’ve touched on this in past posts.

The biggest physical change was that I went from around a size 18 very quickly down to around a size 8.

I became obsessive.

I spent my nights exercising after I’d made sure that Mum was cared for and comfortable. Late into the night I’d run up and down the stairs or power walk laps of the house so I didn’t wake anyone up.

I had my routine down.

It was easy to skip breakfast as this wasn’t monitored.

For lunch I’d delay getting to the table with my friends until right before the bell. I could then grab my lunch as if I was going to eat it on the way, and throw it into the closest bin as I left their view.

Dinner I’d have to eat a little, but would complain about being tired and not hungry to help me get away with barely touching what was on my plate.

This is where my eating disorders began. There are so many to choose from and it seemed to be a constant rotation between one or the other. 

The body dysmorphia associated with eating disorders, or low confidence in general, shaped what I saw in the mirror with its suffocating grip.

I’d look in the mirror and still see a size 18 body when in reality I was barely an 8. So I’d continue, never enjoying my body for what it was.

This cycle continued for 11 years.

It peaked after my dad died. Even I could see that I was skeletal and my closest male friend, whom we’d never had an argument before, sat with me until I ate a full meal the day before the funeral.

He was one of only two people in my whole life who was bold enough to call me on what was so clearly visible. We argued, but he didn’t care. I wasn’t allowed to budge until the whole meal was gone.

It was childlike on my part, but that moment changed my entire future.

He helped me see what my body looked like to others in terms that I understood. He compared me to someone else who I’ve always admired as incredibly slim and beautiful, and told me I was now much smaller than her.

I was shocked, and it clicked that what I saw in the mirror wasn’t real.

When I left my home town and returned back to my life I got help.

I’d been to a few people for one or two sessions about eating at certain points in my life but this time was different. I saw the impact it was having on my long term health and wanted it to end.

I was ready to let it go.

Drop back next week to read more about how I finally managed to conquer the scales and all that they represent.

Much love,

C

Are you okay?

It’s been interesting to watch people’s reactions on social media after my friend’s decision to take his own life.

Once I let go and accepted that each person has the right to grieve in their own way, it was much easier to watch it all play out in such a public arena.

One thing that really stood out was a number of his best friends rehashing his older posts that were cries for help.

Some of these original posts got one or two likes. But by his friends’ reactions it seems that few thought to ask if he was okay.

All I can wonder is, did people see his posts? He had over 1600 friends surely more than one or two people saw them.

Did they scroll past them and not think twice? Did they wonder if he was okay but never asked?

I wasn’t there so I’ll never know. What I do know is that there are a lot of people now regretfully reposting his cries for help wishing that they’d asked what they were about.

Online platforms give us a greater reach but are we now so numb to the constant barrage of messages from friends and companies that we don’t hear anything anymore?

Social media is supposed to connect us, but we don’t really connect, we scan. We scan for gossip, we scan for information, we scan for things to entertain and amuse us.

Among all of this, sometimes there’s an honest cry for help. A subtle, silent wish that someone, anyone will ask if they’re okay.

When I was much younger and struggling severely with depression I put on a happy face, and few would have seen anything different. I’d always say I was fine even if people looked at me sceptically on a bad day.

I kept doing the regular things and smiling through it all. No one knew for sure.

There were days though where I did give a very subtle cry for help. On those days, pre social media, I wished so badly that someone, anyone would ask if I was okay.

In that moment I would have said no.

But they never heard my cries on those days. They never asked. So I never told them.

This is something that happens for so many who are truly struggling and in deep despair. The kind that they can’t see a way past and is swallowing them whole.

It’s not easy to spot the difference between attention seekers and genuine cries for help at a glance, I know. That’s why it’s so important to be present with those that we love.

We can’t save everyone, but we can remind them that they’re seen. That they’re heard. That they’re not alone in a world where so many are.

This doesn’t mean fixing everyone. It doesn’t getting involved in people’s business or even the situation.

It can be a simple sentence that shows a compassion and connection that we seem to have lost.

“Are You Okay Day should be more than one day”, is something I heard someone say.

I agree. It shouldn’t be a day at all, it should be an automatic reaction.

Compassion, consideration and presence should be a normal part of society again. Have we lost this?

Whether it’s on social media or in real life, remember that life is about really experiencing things. Really connecting.

The world needs more love. Let’s start here.

Much love,

C

A kinder challenge

As I posted about recently it’s been a pretty rocky road these last few months learning a lot very quickly.

Without my usual safety nets like a routine, regular income and so many other things it’s put my nerves on edge. I haven’t always handled it the best way.

With three months until a major life event I’ve decided to clean up my act and do a 12 week challenge. It’s a different kind though and has one rule – be kind to myself.

I’ve written in the past about my controlling and destructive ways. For too many years I was brutal on myself, controlling every aspect of my life so that I did what I thought was best no matter if my body was screaming for me to do something else.

This last year I’ve learned the absolute bliss of listening to my body to hear what it needs.

In my 12 week challenge I’ve got plenty of things that I would like to add in, but how and when they get done will depend on what I feel is best at that time.

If I’m tired I might give myself a facial, have a foot soak and/or read as part of a relaxing night in (a crucial aspect that’s been missing lately). If I’m really energetic I might bust out my strength training, or if my nerves are on edge I might go to a yoga class instead.

I’ll make time again for my true love of dance, and put aside money to make it happen so there’s no excuses.

This also means I’ll be more committed to my stretching each morning as it requires an amazing amount of flexibility.

I’ll put reminders in my phone to get a haircut occasionally so I feel fantastic when I look in the mirror, and I’ll also set a reminder to do a few quick exercises each morning so I can improve a lingering injury.

There will be time in my day to meditate and do a visualisation activity to create my life as even more amazing. I’ll also commit to moving every day for at least 30 minutes instead of working through with no break, which leaves me stressed, on edge and over-tired.

Basically I’m going to be selfish for a little while and I am completely okay with that.

I’ll still make time for my friends and usual commitments, but I’m going to be incredibly conscious of what my body needs in these 12 weeks and act on that. No control, no schedules, no dictatorship like rigour, just a peaceful exchange of kindness and respect.

This is very new territory for me so it’s even about being kind to myself when I forget or start to get a bit obsessive.

After 12 weeks I feel like I’ll be mentally and physically at the top of my game ready for the next very exciting chapter of my life.

I’ll feel amazing and that’ll flow into every aspect of my life. This includes being more present to the needs of those around me as I’m not caught up in my own mind.

For me this is about learning a new way of being, a more reflective and gentle way, but also building myself up so I can be who I choose to be for others.

We all know that when we feel amazing that it flows out of us.

We smile at others, joke around and are kind without a second thought because we are in that state of mind.

By being a little bit gentler on ourselves we are actually paving the way to be more selfless, which to me seems like a worthy thing to commit my time to.

Much love,

C

Pit crews

Racers have pit crews, celebrities have entourages and even workplace managers have teams. To work at our absolute best we need to be supported, not solo. We need to surround ourselves with the very best.

I’ve written before about being preconditioned to go through life as a solo act. I’m hungry for knowledge, motivated, creative and adaptive. Oh and I love a good challenge. Tell me I can’t do something and watch me fly.

As much as I love to research and learn new skills, there are people out there with knowledge far superior to my own. They’ve sometimes spent a lifetime mastering it and what an amazing gift to be able to tap into this to support myself in whatever way they can offer.

When we let go of our past behaviours we’re opened up to new ways of being, and new doors to areas we may have never expected. It’s okay to need support to keep growing if you want to be your best every day.

I plan on making a big difference in this world and that means that the speed I’m growing is surprising even myself. I feel like I wake up a completely different person at least twice a week after conquering challenges that pushed me well beyond my limits. I no longer do this on my own though.

I’ve had meltdowns and tears, days that I didn’t want to get out of bed, eaten my overwhelm forgetting my commitment to my body and had multiple mini chronic fatigue relapses that left me struggling to even have a shower.

It hasn’t been easy.

Now I could have battled through each of these things myself, and probably been just fine. But what I’ve learned is the absolute pleasure of being able to share the load with another.

Some days it’s been admitting my fears to a close friend and letting my wall down. Other times it’s been seeking the help of a professional to speed up my physical healing process or help with an area of my business that’s challenging me.

It’s an amazing feeling to be able to hand over your power, or powerlessness in some cases and say it’s all too much to do on your own. And that’s okay.

Let a friend hug you when you are down, watch a funny movie or Youtube clip when you are taking life too seriously, take short 5 minute breaks on even your busiest day to move your body and ask for support when something is overwhelming.

The more I accept that I can’t do life on my own, the more I value the contribution that others are making. They just show up in my life at exactly the right time with a set of skills and knowledge that far outweigh my own in many cases. Other times it’s just really nice to have someone else be accountable for something I’d normally need to keep track of.

There are a lot of skilled people in this world, let’s surround ourselves with the best.

To get started, think about what areas are most important to you. Then consider if they start falling out of focus when you get busy. These might be the best places to start to surround yourself with some support.

This then frees up your own time to do what you need to, at your best, and with some energy still left in your tank.

By having external support it means that we don’t only make our own lives easier, but it creates time and energy to do things that are bigger than us, and be there for others also.

We aren’t singular beings so let’s support each other. If we all did this ever day, that’s the kind of life I want to create. That’s the kind of world I’d love to see.

We all deserve a pit crew for this reason.

Much love,

C.