It is a temporarily perplexing yet satisfying time in your personal development journey when you realise that the life you have created no longer recognises, or allows you to be the old you.
I had a temporary slip back into old, people pleasing, guilt ridden me. The friend who was involved was completely confused by my unfamiliar actions, and this then triggered her own past self and insecurities.
Luckily my slip only lasted a short period, but her reaction has stuck in my mind. She not only didn’t recognise my old self, but she rejected my old self. I am certain from her reaction that this friendship would not survive if I returned to my old ways. In order to maintain this friendship, I need to be my new self, my true self. Interesting…
In my past I created a world where I was always second, if not last. I was not able to say no without being met with rage or in many cases instantly lose that person in my life, I could not celebrate my wins or talents, and when I chose to put myself first…well that caused all sorts of reactions that left me feeling inferior and guilty.
This slip however, has made me realise that I now surround myself with people who allow me to put myself first, and authentically understand that sometimes that’s important. They celebrate my wins, love my talents and confidence, and allow me to shine right beside them. They do not want me to be submissive, they do not want me to only say what they want to hear, nor do they only want to be around me when it’s to their benefit. Interesting…
My relationship is another area that I’ve noticed this pattern. I am sure it would not exist if I permanently slipped back into old me. He values so many of the traits I now hold, especially my strength and confidence as it gives him the space to be authentic also. We communicate our needs freely and look after each other, two things I’ve never had with a man before, and value most highly. In order to maintain this relationship I need to be my authentic self. Interesting…
It has been a struggle to be completely myself in my new workplace for various reasons, but now that I have finally shown my true self I know that I can never go back. The more I become confident and willing to speak up for myself and others, the more positively this is received.
I am going from strength to strength now that I have given myself permission to be authentic, which is something I did not dream possible. As life does, it surprised me, and created an environment that facilitated me to be true to myself, and now actually demands this authenticity.
As we grow more into ourselves, life shifts and changes to create space for this. Things that facilitated our old way of being fade away, and if we let them go, this space becomes newly filled with people and situations that are in line with the new us. And eventually you hit a point where your life simply does not allow you to fall into your old ways.
I choose to be truly thankful for this support that is happening on all levels.
So thank you to all the people in my newly created world who hold me accountable to being who I truly am, and expecting nothing less. I value each of you more than you’ll ever realise.
And I know that each of you can create this in your world too.