A friend of mine took his life recently.
It would have been tough, as this was too large for friends or even him to sort out alone, but with the help of some professionals he had options.
A few days ago however, he made his choice.
Having been so closely involved I wasn’t sure how to react to the news. I knew it was a risk so unlike others I wasn’t caught completely off guard that he hadn’t been happy.
As someone still exploring how to live a powerful, conscious life…and also in utter shock…I called up my aunty to ask how to deal with this in an empowered way.
You are all familiar with how I dealt with, or for that matter hid from these situations in the past.
Emotions weren’t my forte but I now understand how important it is to feel my way through life. Especially in the harder times.
The conversation with my aunty reminded me that we must understand that feelings are just that, and allow them to pass. We need to actively assist this process in any way that we can.
Only then are we able to look around and care for those around us who might be suffering or in need.
It’s not about forgetting ourselves or suppression, no. It’s about being able to step outside of these emotions if need be to help others, while still feeling our way through.
For me I wrote that first night for 2 hours until I couldn’t feel my hand anymore. I let it all come out of my subconscious. Then I ran away to distract myself with dance. Then I came home to reality and cried.
There are emotions, many that I need to feel my way through, but by understanding that they are emotions and not all encompassing I will still able to be powerful in my life.
I will be able to be there for my friends who are suffering with this news if they need me. I will be able to remember a great man and to honour his memory.
I will also allow myself to heal as easily as possible.
It will take time. There will be good days and bad for I don’t know how long. But this loss will not consume my life.
I will still be able to bring love to the world and support those around me while handling my own crisis powerfully and completely. My emotions will also be much less all encompassing than they would have been previously as I feel them and let them pass.
This mindfulness is the key to living a powerful life. This is also the key to creating a better world.
Emotions are not the enemy.
They should not be suppressed nor allowed to take over with no end.
For a little while sure, feel your way through, but don’t let them take you away forever.
Mourn, be sad, be mad, be all the things. But be love in between.
Be kind to yourself, be kind to those around you, nurture and support others and honour the memory of your lost loved one.
I know you can. How? Because I’ve learned and from where I’ve come from I know anyone can.
You just need to choose. In every moment, we choose.