So many people live in denial. Whether it’s subconsciously or consciously, they choose not to dig into why they are held back from whatever they may truly want.
When we’re living mindfully, we bravely face our internal demons, roadblocks and nasty bits and it’s not an easy thing to do.
What it gives us in return is hope that life isn’t stuck, and that we have the power to let go of so many things we otherwise would have no idea were holding us back.
It’s a chance to create, recreate and create some more in our lives in a constant cycle.
One of my highly volatile buttons I’ll admit is when I feel like I’m not important to someone or something that’s important to me, or like I’m the runner up prize and should be thankful to have that position.
Recently, what on the surface should have been very flattering simply wasn’t sitting right. I couldn’t put my finger on it but something in my gut was telling me to stay away.
It turned out that I, in this situation, was being groomed as a suitable backup plan.
Sorry life, but I’m not a backup plan. Do you know what else? You shouldn’t be either.
What is it in me that has made this scenario pop up over and over again in my life? My friends joke about it but also know full well it’s a recurring theme.
I began to dig and saw how many areas in the past I’d tried to squeeze myself into something that clearly wasn’t right.
I’d forced myself to be the runner up prize, as when I was being totally myself I wasn’t the best choice for them and whatever it was wasn’t the best choice for me.
Whether it was stubbornness, lack of self worth or trust that I could actually have the perfect thing for me, I was the one telling life that it was okay to compromise who I am and settle for being an okay fit.
I was telling life that I’d change myself to at least some degree for something not quite right, and then I’d be grateful for it. I’d even be happy about it.
It had started with me.
Looking at my life now there weren’t many areas I could see myself doing this. Then one sprung to mind and it seemed to be the catalyst for many other areas that had started to show the same symptoms.
It hurt, but I consciously let go of this thing that wasn’t the right fit for me, at least for the time being.
I could clearly see how I was yet again trying to squeeze myself in to fit something that didn’t belong to me. I was once again telling life that it was okay to do this. It’s not.
As soon as I let go and made a conscious decision to be aware of when I fell back into this pattern life began to flow again.
Whether it’s friendships, relationships, work opportunities, social events we host or any area of our life where there’s others involved, we each deserve to be the very first choice.
We deserve to have people see our value and know with 100% certainty that they want what we are offering.
They should want us as we are, the real us, and everything should reflect this.
When we truly align with something that’s right there’s no escaping it. It just fits. We just fit, and it becomes effortless.
It’s that best friend who we feel like different parts of the same person, our soul mate or a perfect job that all the stars aligned for and continues to inspire us daily.
These symmetries are all around us. We each know that when it’s right, it’s right.
So this is my letter to life – I’m not a backup plan anymore.
I’m not the suitable but not quite right option, I’m not a placeholder and I’m certainly not the sidekick in my own life story.
We owe it to ourselves to learn to quickly identify when this is happening and step away.
Be aware and watch how the right things flows in. The best part? They’re always so much better when we get what was meant for us.
No matter the area, don’t settle for second best and certainly not being second choice.
You deserve to be wanted, respected and valued for everything you bring to the table always.
You deserve it. I deserve it.
Please let’s all stop selling ourselves short and settling when we know we could have so much more. It’s a brave move, but one I’m committing to. Will you?